It is sometimes really strange and hard to be a foreigner in a community that I am growing to love so much and to feel so much for. Especially when the oil company’s big American boss and his lawyer are in town. Yesterday morning I went to a meeting that was hosted by the Forestry Department to discuss an application to do an EIA for the seismic testing. All of the usual suspects where there- the local oil company reps, their paid community supporters, folks from the various government departments who are so stoked at the prospect of developing oil, and various protected area managers and NGO folks. Mostly men, lots of indigenous Maya, only a few white folks. I was there representing the NGO I am working for along with a colleague, to take notes and ask questions. And of course because we have taken the Government to the Supreme Court for a judicial review to look into whether or not it is in fact legal to explore for oil in a National Park – there has been an injunction for a couple months now and the oil company has had to stop operations.

Anyway, I don’t know if there was just too much oil driven testosterone in the room, or the heat, or my hangover from the great dinner party the night before- but I was literally feeling ill when the director of the oil company spoke with such charisma about how developing oil can work well with tourism and environmental sustainability, how Colorado and Belize are pretty much the same and Colorado has been able to continue making millions in tourism dollars each year, while having 27,000 active oil wells- oh and they have indigenous peoples too. Well, everyone could see from the photos of Colorado that in fact it looks nothing like Belize- and I can only imagine that the only thing in common is that US Capital Energy has investments in both places and the Government is happy about it in both places. I wonder what the communities think.

So there were some good questions asked, some important comments made, I managed to get a question in – but it is at times like this that I wish I was so much more eloquent, knew what I was talking about a bit more, and was not obviously a foreigner. It is a really interesting dynamic, because there are quite a few ex-pats in Punta Gorda, lots of them working for NGOs and in business, lots of American volunteers in various organizations. It makes me wonder what Belizeans really think about foreigners delving into their issues. In a country that this year will be only celebrating their 25 years of independence- they are probably used to white influence- and this is just a different type of colonialism. I am struggling with this. Can I only ever feel legitimate as a voice, as a concerned citizen, when I am working in Canada? But even then, would I feel just as foreign in the Canadian north, in the west, in the east? For someone who advocates for community involvement and grassroots action, I feel like I’m not sure where my roots are or should be?

I hope I can have a legitimate voice, be concerned and active citizen wherever I find myself- Canada or abroad- because the reality is that I just couldn’t sit in that meeting yesterday and NOT say something. Especially when I have done a little research and know enough to know most of what was said was bullshit. And I know that searching for oil and finding it will change this incredible place forever. Change it in a way that I really don’t think will benefit many people in Belize. The risks are too damn high. I guess we will have to figure out how we can best negotiate, discuss and ensure that if this all goes ahead we know what to ask for(not sure how long a small indigenous organization can stop an American oil company…) . I guess that is the next step.

In other news, I was sad last weekend to say goodbye to my friend Emily who has been down here since we arrived and we have become great friends – and I miss her! I hope she is rocking it, feeling fantastic and speaking a li creole in Portland gyal! PG misses you! Jimayla pulled at my shorts this morning, looking up with her beautiful dark eyes behind some braids asking "you rememeber me?" I said of course and asked if she missed miss emily. she misses you too! claro!

Here are some shots of em, Pastor and i having a li blast in PG (check out our sweet twisty braids!)

Here we are hiking through the Sarstoon Temash park, Josh is identifying some critter's footprints with his son Issac and Tomas the park ranger.